Sweet sister with her baby brother... we are blessed indeed.
This is my third pregnancy. I am so very blessed by my two little ones but this third will be greatly missed. Smiles unseen, laughter unheard, until that day... that blessed day when I enter heaven's gates and meet my little one.
I am only about 6 to 7 weeks along, still to early to detect much from a sonogram. And even though I never heard a heartbeat or saw the little one it is still my baby - a precious gift from God.
My babies having fun with Daddy on the 4th of July!
My three-year-old was so very happy to welcome another baby into our family. When I told her yesterday, after returning from a visit with our midwife, that our baby wasn't going to be born, that it had died, she said, "Oh, that's so sad. Are you ready to go outside and play?" To have the heart of a child... able to take information in and feel emotion and then move on to the next thing.
Me... I am dwelling. I'm dwelling in the pain. Not that I want to sit around a sulk, but I want to live in the moment. I want to learn and grow from this experience, not shut my heart off to the feelings or harden my emotions. I want to be soft, moldable, teachable.
I believe with all my heart that the Lord will bless us with more children one day, but today I remember this one. This child that He created and loves. This baby that He blessed us with for a very short time. This baby counts. This baby is loved too.
And now to tell the world, all our friends and family that we aren't expecting anymore. It's something I dread. Even so, I pray that my life will be a testimony of God's goodness and love. That by my openness and transparency, many would be drawn to Christ. Even in pain the Lord is near... He is near to the broken-hearted.
Yes... we still are.
Here are a few verses that I'm clinging to now:
(I inserted my name to make it more personal)
"Because Megan has set her love upon Me,
Therefore I will deliver her;
I will set her on high, because she has known My name.
She shall call upon Me, and I will answer her;
I will be with her in trouble;
I will deliver her and honor her,
With long life I will satisfy her,
And show her My salvation."
Psalm 91:14-16
All of Psalm 34 is encouraging, but these verses are mine today:
"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
And delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit."
Psalm 34:17and18
I searched the Psalms and complied a list, straight from the Word,
of what the Lord is to me.
He is:
- My support
- My shield
- My Shepherd
- My comforter
- The strength of my life
- Good
- My deliverer
- My provider
- My help
- My guide
- My place of rest
- My hope
"My beloved is mine, and I am his."
Song of Sol. 2:16
Resting in His tender mercies,
9 comments:
My thoughts and prayers are with you Megan as you walk this painful road. Sending hugs.....
Beautifully written, megan! I love you so much. Your life is a testimony of God's goodness and love!
Valerie
My mom went to be with Jesus a few weeks ago. Anyways I just finished reading a book called "Heaven is Real" The little boy who went to heaven for a visit met his older sister whom he never met or knew about as she was miscarried before he was born. So take courage your little one is in heaven with Jesus! And one day she will be waiting for you as you go home.
Thank you for sharing so openly. I didn't have that courage, so out of fear I waited on sharing the joy of my pregnancy until I started the second trimester. May God bless you and your family and give you peace. Your little one is being cuddled by our Heavenly Father! I'm shedding tears of joy and sadness... Blessings to you!!!
I am sorry Megan! My third pregnancy also sadly ended in a miscarriage. I know the feelings of sadness and sorrow. I pray that your heart is lifted and comforted. And, just to give you a smile.... my fourth pregnancy was twins. You never know what God has in store for you!
@Jeff Wagner
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother passing... may God give you comfort as well.
I have read that book myself and am encouraged by what that young boy saw. We have hope that one day we will see our baby in heaven... until then he/she gets to dance with Father God and worship with the angels. Blessings!
I have been thinking about you and praying for you! I am so, so sorry for your loss! You are dearly loved and I love how you trust and lean on Jesus! Love you, Meg!
Been enjoying all the reading I've been able to do here on your blog.
So sorry to read this, life can be so hard, but I'm so glad you leaned/are leaning on Christ. What glory that brings Him, and for you to share this with all who may read.
@Rachel Yes, Rachel! The Lord was so good to hold me during that difficult season of loss. He always restores what is stolen from us. Glad to hear you are encouraged by reading through the blog. I hope to write more frequently, but you know how that is with littles to take care of :) We are blessed!
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